Monday, August 09, 2004

Thoughts

So here, in no particular order, are some of the nuggets of wisdom I managed to glean from my travels this Summer:

I have come up with a theory that will probably sound familiar to most people who have done any camping on the continent. An unmistakeable facet of camping life is the Dutch. No matter where you are, there is always a Dutch family at the camping grounds, and I have finally figured out why. It is a well known fact that Holland is a densely populated country. However what most people do not know is that it is so densely populated that the entire Dutch population cannot physically fit into the country at any one time. Therefore they are obliged to go camping for at least two weeks every year to make room, and the reason nobody has found out (until now) is that nobody, but the Dutch, speaks Dutch, and so nobody has been able to infiltrate their clandestine Camping Ministry (or is that just an Amsterdam gay bar?).

I have also noticed a masochistic tendency that seems to appear whenever I go on holiday: I have an insatiable urge to ascend any and every available vantage point, be they towers, turrets, minarets, mountains, hills, steeples or spires; if it's got steps, I'll climb it (and usually pay for the privilege). It seems rather odd, as it goes contrary to my general nature of only doing the bare minimum that is required (and even then I usually do less). It's a very worrying affliction and I was just wondering whether other people suffer from it too, or whether I am the only one.

Another thing that I have noticed is that as Czech continues to develop economically, tastes are beginning to change, especially culinary tastes. As far as I'm concerned, the knedlik (dumpling) is the cornerstone of Czech cuisine. It's very much a comfort food and is very cheap and easy to make, and therein lies the problem. The knedlik is probably thought of as being a poor man's food and is therefore being weeded out of restaurant menus due to this stigma. Ten years ago it formed the basis of every meal, nowadays there are few restaurants that will even offer it for dinner; so for those of you who have not yet been to Czech I'd urge you to go while there's still time before this culinary gem disappears from eateries completely. All of which just goes to show that although the march of progress is inexorable, it is not without its victims.

On a more serious note, it has been a useful practice run for this coming year, and has highlighted some things that I need and some that I don't. Before leaving for South America I shall need to invest in a torch (very useful in a tent at night), a mirror (for getting those pesky contact lenses in) and some hand-washing powder (because laundromats are not always at hand, even in Europe). On the other hand I won't need as many socks (wear sandals instead) or trousers (take up too much space and don't get smelly as quickly as other clothes). I was also well impressed with the usefulness of bungy cords (despite Mark mocking me for reading too many backpacking travel guides and likening me to Robinson Crusoe) as they can be used for a great variety of tasks, such as tying extra equipment to bags and as washing lines.

Furthermore during our travels Yann and I had ample time to watch the people go by and (as you do) we got to comparing the women of the various countries and ranking them accordingly. So therefore I am thinking of following in the footsteps of the illustrious geneticist (and cousin of Charles Darwin) Francis Galton (who has the dubious distinction of inventing the field of eugenics) who made a beauty map of the UK by travelling to various towns and cities and giving the female population a score out of 5 (for some reason Aberdeen came last). Since I'm going to be visiting a number of countries I thought I might do the same, although, of course, it won't be a very rigourous or scientific study (although if somebody is willing to fund me...) but I shall nevertheless sacrifice myself for the advancement of human knowledge.

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